This week we were blessed with a lovely drone photo of Sp*rs’ new grounds (full disclosure: I’m a practicing architect and a sucker for lovely drone photos). Subsequent comparisons of that structure likened it to – to be blunt – a sh*thole. As a lifelong Red Sox’ fan it has been, for years, second nature to refer to both the old and new Yankee Stadia as “the Toilet” – both of those buildings always had a vague resemblance to that bathroom fixture. But I never really thought about how accurate that comparison might be. This newly released overhead drone photo of the North London grounds gave me a prime opportunity to harness my professional skills to their utmost, to finally put them to purpose. So I took a look to see if these insults are deserved.
Quickly: I have a sincere and deep appreciation for form-making, and for the complexity of what it takes to construct a building such as this. And, as a professional (though biased) observer I have to say the grounds look (from ground level) to be quite, er, nice. I have no doubt this project exceeds the complexity of anything I have ever built, and demands an attention to detail that would stagger most practicing professions. But I couldn’t get past this comparison, so spent a little time this rainy Sunday morning checking to see how apt this comparison might be.
One last disclosure: in order to not feel absolutely terrible about myself and the time spent on this, I limited this “study” to one major brand, and only checked out a few varieties of fixtures. Herewith we have a visual comparison:
First up, looking at the accessory structure to the south, one and two-piece fixtures with a tank. This is the Kohler “Persuade”.
Nope. Not persuaded. While the tank piece mimics that appendage, and the bowl is close in shape, there’s a proportional inconsistency.
Next, the “Sans Souci” (translates to “worry-free”):
A little better. That tank is a little tighter to the bowl, though the narrowness of that bowl shows itself a little. Still, not bad, and – bonus – this one flushes itself!!!
On to tankless versions – and stick only to the stands and pitch structures. First up, two versions of the “Veil”. Number One:
A little bit egg-shaped, this one. Nope.
BUT, they make a one-piece version of the “Veil”. Number 2:
This could be it! Less egg-y, we get a hint of the surrounding grounds from the apron around the bowl, and the hinges (while pronounced and slightly foreign to the composition) intimate that what’s inside might not be the most pleasant of company. We think we have a winner. It’s Number 2!
Ok, that’s it. Off to wash my hands.
*apologies to Albert Einstein