Time for an update! Previously we supplied everyone with a set of “fill in the blank” tweet-sized missives, to be used throughout silly season. Those are still useful, but we thought we ought to update and supplement the prior set. So, once again please find below a series of boilerplate texts, all under the Twitter 280 character limit, for your use in distributing hot information gleaned during the summer transfer window.
While Arsenal don’t have Champions League on offer, [Insert Player Name] has told his agents he’s willing to play in the lesser competition if terms can be agreed upon.
A player who previously piqued the team’s curiosity, [Insert Player Name]’s price has been slashed to [Insert Price, in Pounds Sterling]. Even so, the club hasn’t expressed interest, saying the player’s talents don’t quite fit needs.
Arsenal is preparing to prepare a bid for [Insert Player Name], but first need to prepare for such preparations.
Manager Mikel Arteta sees [Insert Player Name] as another key piece in year 3 of his 11 year project and is doing his best to convince him to join.
If [Insert Player Name] can prove their fitness, Arsenal may be willing to make an offer to [Insert Team Name] in the range of [Insert Price, in Pounds Sterling].
Regardless of [Insert Player Name]’s fitness, Arsenal is planning to make an offer to [Insert Team Name] in the range of [Insert Price, in Pounds Sterling].
[Insert Player Name] will be staying at the club.
[Insert Player Name] will be leaving the club. (Nah, just kidding. [Insert Player Name]’s staying. Whether you like it or not).